08 Feb Celebrate Romance this Valentine’s Day
If you’re in the midst of your fertility journey, there’s a good chance that the word romantic isn’t necessarily an adjective used to describe your emotional state. This query from a sex column in The Guardian sums up the sentiments we’ve heard from so many of our fertility patients over the years:
My wife[/husband] and I tried for years to have children, going through…[multiple] IVF treatments. The emotional cost was enormous, and it completely killed our sex life.
We can’t emphasize enough how important it is for couples to prioritize their connection, relationship, sensuality, and romance in the midst of IVF and the fertility journey.
5 Ideas for Sparking Romance on Valentine’s Day & Beyond
Honoring, preserving, and maintaining that foundation is essential to creating the strong, healthy and connected family you strive to build. If you feel your sparks are dwindling and romance is hard to come by, we have five ideas for rekindling the romance on Valentine’s Day.
1. Make this the first of many regular “Date Nights”
Here’s the irony: you are struggling to keep the romance alive while pursuing fertility treatments to have children. Your counterparts who have babies and children are also struggling to keep the romance alive because they have children. Scheduling regular “Date Nights” is one of the secrets to keeping the romance alive in both of these cases.
Here’s another rule that serves both scenarios well: make your fertility treatments an “off limits” topic. Once you have your baby, we advise make your baby/children the “off limits” topic. By doing so, you prioritize what makes you You in the couple, rather than identifying yourself or your relationship through treatments and babies.
Need some suggestions? Read, Date Night in DFW While Trying to Conceive. Your practice at celebrating your individuality and your couplehood – without or with children – will serve you well for a lifetime of date nights.
2. Try something new together
Trying something new together can be a great way to shake things up, get the blood pumping, laugh together and view each other in new and exciting ways.
Here are some ideas for getting a adventurous and trying something new around Dallas:
- Take a romantic carriage ride with DFW Northstar Carriages
- Get friends together for a Dallas Party Bike ride (just enjoy the virgin version of your favorite drinks)
- Schedule a day at Trinity Forest Adventure Park. Enjoy zip line challenges and obstacle course thrills for adventurers at every level or risk interest
- Pretend you are a tourist and enjoy a romantic sunset cruise on White Rock Lake with The Spirit of Dallas
- Go rafting, hiking, biking, or all of the above with Big City Bikerafts
If there’s one thing we’re painfully aware of it is that fertility treatments mean a tremendous amount of scheduling, date and time keeping, and the inability to break out of certain routines. Romance defies all of the above, so getting out of those schedules, logistics, and everyday routines can go a long way towards getting new juices flowing again.
3. Check out the Kama Sutra
Long revered for it’s sensual and acrobatic approach to sex and lovemaking, the Kama Sutra in the 21st century is as equally entertaining and funny as it is sexy and inspiring. We highly recommend grabbing a copy from a local bookstore and diving in. We should note that while westerners focused wholly on the “sex” of the Kama Sutra, it is about far more than that – encouraging a mutual, sensual, and respectful relationship between partners.
Good luck trying some of the more acrobatic positions. If nothing else, it’s guaranteed to put laughter back in the bedroom, which is one of the sexiest qualities of all.
4. Enjoy a Valentine’s Day Rom-Com Marathon
Speaking of laughter, date night doesn’t have to happen outside of the home. Cooking a meal together and lining up a few favorite romantic comedies is just the ticket for relaxing, unwinding, and laughing together.
Laughter is an important part of life, and studies show that it is good for relieving tension, releasing feel good hormones, bonding with the ones we laugh with, and boosting immunity. Who knew, “When Harry Met Sally,” could work like a prescription medication?
Looking for some new ideas? Check out Rolling Stone Magazine’s “50 Greatest Romantic Comedies of All Time.”
5. Enjoy a Second “First Date” (or a first one night stand 😉 )
One of the most difficult things about long-term, monogamous partnership is that it means sacrificing the thrill of “first attraction” and serious crushes. There are no more “first kiss” milestones to celebrate or the perpetual anxiety of wondering if s/he’ll text or chat. That’s where a little imagination comes into play. If role play isn’t typically your thing, this can be a good baby step in that direction.
The only thing you’ll do for this first date (or “one night stand”) is to plan where you’re meeting – a local bar, coffee shop, a spot in the park where one or the other already loves to hang out, etc. Other than that, you both show up separately and pretend you’ve never met…until one or the other makes “the first move.” It can be a whole new way of seeing one another and getting to spark conversations (and other activities) that might not happen in the routine you’ve created together.
Keeping the romance alive is critical for creating the strong foundation of love, support, trust, and connection required to build a healthy family. Celebrate romance this Valentine’s Day, and keep that flame fired up regardless of what the fertility treatment path throws at you.
The team at the Fertility Center of Dallas hopes this Valentine’s Day ideas will bolster romance in all the ways it matters most.