Depending on where you are in your fertility journey, the holidayscan be an emotional mine field. Two of the biggies are Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. If you’re in the midst of fertility treatments, take some time to honor the emotional impact they have, and check in with your partner about how you (he) wants to celebrate (or not) Father’s Day this year.
Adopt the “Fake It ‘til You Make It” Ideology
There is great power in visualization towards manifesting the future you want. This is what the “fake it ‘til you make it,” mantra is all about. Instead of thinking about how you aren’ta father, consider the fact that you are a father to be. Perhaps it’s not happening as easily as you imagined it would, or according to your “plan,” but with all the options out there, you willbe a father if that is what you really want.
Seeing yourself as a father in the future can provide a huge sense of relief. Give that figurative dad within a high-five. Then head out to the normal Father’s Day festivities with a more secure and confident vision of your Father-to-Be self.
Keep the Focus on Your Dad (or Father-Figure(s))
Yes, it can be painful to see all those sweet kiddos handing homemade cards to their dad’s after the church service, or watching nieces/nephews honoring your brothers/brothers-in-law. That being said, if you have a dad around, or you’re fortunate enough to have other father-figures in your life, focus your energies on how grateful you are for them.
Gratitude practices are an important way to remain positive in the face of life’s greatest challenges, and loving fathers and/or father-figures are certainly worth being grateful for.
Give Yourself a Father’s Day Pass
Is this a particularly challenging Father’s Day for you? Give yourself permission and take a “pass.” Send a card and a gift, give your dad a call – andfeel free to take care of yourself and opt out of any traditional celebrations or traditions that push your buttons or you’re just not feeling up for.
Make it a Date Night Instead
Goodness knows that romance suffers during fertility treatments. As long as you’re taking a pass on Father’s day, use the empty calendar day by making it a date night instead. Wait out the traditional Father’s Day brunch crowd and head somewhere fun for virgin drinks and appetizers (no alcohol for the lady, remember!) or a fancy dinner out.
Be Honest With Yourself
Sometimes men stuff their feelings rather than find a way to be honest and express them. Whether you’re feeling anger and guilt regarding your own infertility diagnosis(or your partners) or the lack of a successful pregnancy is causing feelings of doubt, depression, anxiety or frustration, healthy emotional supportis key to weathering the infertility journey with your emotional and relationship well-being intact.
Is your fertility path a rockier one than you planned? Do you suspect your current fertility specialist isn’t pursuing the right fertility plan for you? Contact us here at the Fertility Center of Dallasand we’ll work with you to have you well on your way to parenthood by nextFather’s Day.