When you’re trying to get pregnant, everything about the holidays can make you feel angry, frustrated, depressed and isolated from the rest of the rosy, cheery, child-filled world.
Ideas for Enjoying the Holidays While Trying to Conceive
Here are some ideas (tried and true via our own fertility patients) for experiencing a lower-stress, less triggering holiday season.
Get Clear About Your Feelings (and your partner’s)
At first glance, the tangle of feelings around the holidays can be knotted so tightly that the only feeling that emerges is, “I hate the holidays now. They’re a slap in the face now that I’m battling infertility…” However, if you step away from that feeling and give it some distance, the feeling might have more to share with you.
Perhaps you can handle the traditional holiday dinner but don’t want to spend all day with the kids opening presents? Maybe you can handle the chaotic gift exchange but don’t want to spend another traditional dinner answering a gazillion questions. Maybe it’s really just your super-nosy Aunty Trudy and all her “means-well” questions/unsolicited advice that drives you bonkers.
Once you’ve isolated the specifics, the course of action will reveal itself…even if it means sending an email to the entire family, or getting a mom/sister/dad/brother/favorite cousin onboard to let everyone know, “This is a sensitive time and please don’t bring up anything fertility/infertility related this time…”
Get the heck out of dodge
There’s no law that says you have to do what’s expected. Your own feelings of “should” and “expected to” can be processed with a great fertility counselor, and then you can take ownership of this particular holiday and do something different. Your feelings and well-being matter!
Maybe this is a good year to head elsewhere for a romantic getaway with your beloved. Perhaps it’s a good year to fly solo and spend the holidays with a dear friend who lives far away from family. Maybe it’s a great year to stay in your PJs on the couch, drinking cider with the love of your life and enjoying a movie streaming marathon. You have the right to bunk tradition this year and bow out – or bow elsewhere – if needed.
Donate your time and energy to others who need you
It may look like everyone is happy this time of year, but not all are. The holidays are devastating for those who are homeless, live alone, living in poverty, suffer from depression, are unable to have basic needs met, who live in nursing homes or assisted living facilities far away from family, etc.
There are so many ways to donate your time and energy to others in need, and being a force of positive energy in the worlds reminds you that you’re more than just a woman/couple with an infertility diagnosis.
Check out these Volunteer Opportunities in the Dallas area to connect with a charity or non-profit organization that resonates with you.
You’re not alone and the Fertility Center of Dallas hopes you are able to find moments of peace, calm and joy throughout the holiday season – even when you least expect them!
image: Victar @picjumbo